Motherhood, Maturity, and Breaking Stigmas

Chase

Becoming a mother was nothing like I had anticipated. It was not merely a change in my daily routine or responsibilities; it was a profound transformation that affected my core identity and worldview. Not in the superficial manner that some might assume, but in the deepest and most meaningful way imaginable. I didn’t just gain a child; I gained an entirely new perspective on life, an incredible strength I never knew I possessed, and a level of maturity that nothing else could have instilled in me. My life became fuller, enriched with layers of responsibility that demanded my attention and commitment, and I found myself less centered on the opinions and expectations of others. Instead, I began to focus on what truly mattered, my child and our shared journey.

My son Chase, has made my life better. As a COVID baby, he faced developmental delays that required patience, advocacy, and extra care. But I could not imagine a world without him, even though these experiences were not easy. He has taught me endurance, illustrating how to fight for someone else’s future while simultaneously learning to stand strong in my own convictions and beliefs. This journey is not one of trouble or shame; rather, it is grace in action a beautiful testament to the power of love and commitmen to fight for someone else’s future, and how to stand strong in my own. That is not trouble. That is not shame. That is grace in action. Chase has undeniably made my life better in ways I could never have imagined.

Growing up in a Seventh-day Adventist community, I became acutely aware of the heavy stigma that can accompany life choices that deviate from the “ideal” blueprint laid out by tradition. There is often a silent but pervasive pressure to marry first, then have children, and to present an image of a picture-perfect family that aligns with societal expectations. When one steps outside of that prescribed path, judgment often follows, lurking like a shadow. I’ve felt that judgment firsthand, and it can be suffocating. However, what many people fail to recognize is that motherhood itself emerges as one of the greatest teachers of responsibility, resilience, and personal growth. It is a journey that, while fraught with challenges, offers invaluable lessons that shape us into better versions of ourselves.

Within the faith, I have observed too many individuals measure their worth by outward appearances, often forgetting that marriages can end in the same struggles faced by co-parents and single parents alike. The stark truth is that no one’s life path guarantees a perfect outcome. I have known couples who married and were tragically widowed within weeks, and I have witnessed long-term unions dissolve in heartbreak and despair. What truly matters is how we love, how we stand firm in our faith, and how we steward what God entrusts to us, rather than whether our stories appear neat and tidy from the outside. Each narrative is unique, filled with its own set of trials and triumphs.

Motherhood has brought me closer not only to God but also to my truest self. It has taught me that my value is not diminished by societal stigma or stereotypes that seek to define me. I do not regret the choice I made to bring my son into this world. In fact, choosing him was akin to choosing myself and my own path forward. My story may not mirror the lives of those around me, but it is rich with grace, growth, and a profound sense of purpose that fuels my every day.

This understanding lies at the very heartbeat of Healing Voices: the initiative dedicated to creating a safe space where diverse stories are honored rather than shamed. It is a sanctuary where women, mothers, and people of faith can embrace their journeys without apology or fear of judgment. Stigma does not define us; rather, it is our strength, our resilience, and our unwavering faith that shape our identities and narratives.

Children are not mistakes; they are blessings that enrich our lives in ways we may not fully comprehend until we experience it ourselves. The maturity, love, and growth that come with raising them stand as a powerful testimony of strength, not shame. My voice, my story, and my son’s life serve as daily reminders that healing is indeed possible, and that empowerment begins when we refuse to allow society to label us based on our circumstances. Instead, we embrace our journeys and celebrate the beautiful complexities of our lives.

Understanding Single Motherhood Stigmas

 Single motherhood often comes with various stigmas that can impact the lives of mothers and their children. Here are some effective tips to help break these stigmas:

1. Promote Positive Narratives

• Share success stories of single mothers who have thrived in their careers and personal lives.

• Highlight the achievements of children raised by single mothers.

2. Foster Community Support

• Create support groups for single mothers to share experiences and resources.

• Encourage community events that celebrate single-parent families.

3. Educate Others

• Host workshops or seminars to discuss the realities of single motherhood.

• Dispel myths by providing factual information about single-parent families.

4. Encourage Open Conversations

• Invite discussions about the challenges and strengths of single motherhood.

• Use social media platforms to share personal experiences and insights.

5. Advocate for Policy Changes

• Support policies that provide better resources for single mothers, such as childcare and financial assistance.

• Engage in advocacy efforts aimed at reducing discrimination against single-parent families.

6. Challenge Stereotypes in Media

• Encourage media representations that depict single mothers in a positive light.

• Support films, books, and shows that portray realistic and relatable stories of single motherhood.

7. Celebrate Diversity

• Recognize and respect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of single mothers.

• Promote inclusivity in discussions about family structures.

8. Build Resilience and Empowerment

• Provide resources for personal development, such as education and career training.

• Encourage single mothers to pursue their goals and aspirations.